I gotta tell you guys about this dream I had. I don’t dream alot. Usually when I do they’re fairly uneventful as well. But to date, in my entire life, this has to be the single most fucked up, freaky and frightening dream i’ve ever had. I’m not easily rattled mind you. I don’t remember the WHOLE thing, but the part I do remember I remember really well. So bear with me.
Here’s what I remember…
Me, Ryan Styles, and who I believe to be Garth Brooks (not sure exactly) are all hanging out in some anonymous yard. Sitting in lawn chairs and drinking beers from one of those little foam coolers. Nothing special. Just hanging out. We were laying in those deck chairs that recline into little beds and shit. These things…
Now wrap your head around that one… Why would these 3 men…
Why would we EVER be in a situation to hang out, or even want to do so? I mean like Ryan, but I fucking hate Garth Brooks. Deeply. Everything the man does is a fucking plague upon country music and what it should stand for. But I digress.
So after a few minutes of just chilling. Ryan and who I am assuming to be Garth fuck off to go to something other than hanging out inside the nearby house.
So i’m laying there, drinking beer, and all of a sudden the sky starts to darken as though there’s a storm brewing. I remarked about it loud enough so they could hear me. But after the clouds had reached a point that looked like a tornado was about 3 seconds from touching ground. Like this.
It began to look different. It began to morph into something altogether more frightening that I can only describe as looking like what you’d see if you dropped acid and stared into the above picture. First it resembled a lava lamp in behavior. Then it began to swirl into something that looked like one of those projectors hippies you to trip on at Hendrix concers. Ya know the kinda that would display a constantly moving and amorphous mixture of colored oils and water. Then it began to thunder, louder than I ever heard in my life. But that’s not the freakiest part.
Once the sky had settled into it’s final form of blood red hippy bliss. A set of really menacing fucking eyes took form and blinked. Shit was completely frightening. Like bad. Imagine the scariest fucking thing you’ve ever seen in and throw in having to watch 3 kids beating a guy to death with a sledge hammer. At that point I screamed for Ryan and Garth to come look at this shit. They ran out, apparently not noticing the crimson hue everything had now that the sun was blocked out by blood red acid trip clouds. It looked like that thing from Ragnarok and Roll.
All of us gazed at the blinking eyes, yellow light seemed to come from them, but didn’t cast itself into the red everything was cascaded in. Not long after a mouth formed and kinda made a horrifying noise that sounded like rabbits screaming. We sat for a moment marveling at the fucking thing, just fucking scared shitless. Then it said only 3 words.
“I am Satan.”
Then I woke up. I didn’t wake up in any kind of peril or cold sweat though. My heart wasn’t racing. I just woke up as though i’d been roused by some outside stimulus of some sort.
I think i’m losing my mind.
